First Stone

It's warm tonight. The air is muggy and the breeze slight. It feels as though the weather is sitting on me, weighing down my body. My heart is heavy as well, but not due to the humidity and heavy clouds.

Two people, a couple, whom I had never met came to my house tonight for a visit. It did not take me long to realize that they were judgers. You know the type. They judge your car, your countertops, your square footage and size you up based on your net worth. They are childless. Perfect. They don't make mistakes. They are tidy. They are beautiful and stylish. They are educated. They are refined. They are better than me, you and everyone else.

I quickly became defensive and worried. I did not want them to meet my childen and see that they are loud and lively. I did not want them to see my randomly planted garden. My chaotic desk. I did not want them to judge my laid back life and assign it order.

I understand where they are coming from. I was young and confident once. I thought life should look as it does in the magazines. I thought that having money gave you moral superiority.

But that changed. I became a parent. I got over myself and my foolish misconceptions. I realized that perception is not reality. Some people learn these lessons early in life and they are better for it. They are happier. Genuinely kind. They do not, as this couple so clearly did, have anything to prove.

I am consoled, though. This pristine couple who was welcomed into my home only to notice its shortcomings and not meet my children's eyes is pregnant. They are expecting twins in a little over seven weeks. I can almost hear their ice castle melting. I can nearly feel their defeat when they realize that toys will also litter their living room floor, that they too will have cold scrambled egg dashed across their counter tops. I can imagine their surprise when they wake up one day to find their backyard is not like those in the magazines, but is one in which children play.

Where will they find their self-rightousness then? What will they think of us commoners on that day?

The breeze just picked up. I will sleep well in my subpar home tonight.